Why the first response to ‘Any tips on…’ will never be advice.

The happiest, most relieved expression I have potentially ever seen in my life, I saw this week in the face of a coaching client in response to my offering to wave an invisible magic wand.

We’re both adults. We both have MAs in Creative Writing. But she’s a member of the Writers’ Gym so she understands exactly what the magic wand’s power is.

‘If I waved my magic wand and removed [thing you think you’re ‘supposed’ to do as a writer, that’s currently stopping you from enjoying writing’] from the universe until your first draft is finished and ready to edit, how would you feel?’

The answer was clear from her face; from the way the tension left her shoulders. 

But I didn’t bring out the magic wand even then. I brought out something else first. 

I often joke (the way we do about things that are absolutely true) my invisible magic wand is the most significant professional tool I ever use. But, really, just as important to the process is this small piece of paper:

I’ve given them to people in person, I’ve ‘passed’ them through Zoom screens to different towns, countries and continents (there’s even one in Australia) where the recipient writes/draws it on their end of the call in whatever note, banner or journal form speaks to them. It’s always quite a long way into the session, usually very near the end. It tends to come from conversations that began with the client asking: 

‘What are your tips on…’ 

‘I need you to help me decide…’

The question might be about a career move, or a choice between jobs, homes, lifestyles, relationships. Maybe it’s taking command of a schedule to finally put the time and space it takes to gradually create the life, work or art they want in a way that has felt impossible before. 

Here’s why the answer doesn’t begin with tips, or advice. 

Here’s the good news and bad news that can feel frustrating at first but in the end is the path to true confidence, and true freedom:

You are the expert on you. And you listen best to that expert when you have the support and the courage to stay listening to them long enough to hear them, understand their thinking, clarify their objectives and create a plan to achieve them. The coaching conversation is a chance to listen to that expert, with support, structure and new questions to implement what we learn. 

That’s why writing coaching isn’t just about the writing. It’s about the writer: getting the writer into the best position in their life and mind to do the writing they want.

Only when I know want you want (in this client’s case, ‘I want to finish my novel and I want to enjoy the writing process that gets me there’) and what you fear (‘What if the fact that I find plotting boring/difficult/scary means I’m not a real writer and shouldn’t be doing this?’) that we decide together what needs to be given, or taken away, to free you to do exactly that.

That’s the permission. And – whisper it quietly – only you can give yourself that, even if it’s my writing on the piece of paper.

Then I wave the wand. And then the visible tools come out. The deadlines for material, the editing techniques and, yes, where appropriate the technical tips and examples from existing writing that mean you’re not reinventing the wheel before you go on your unique journey. The writing tools are visible in a way the magic wand isn’t. But, like good writing, everything begins with the courage to be specific about who your character is (in non-fiction as much as fiction, starting with you the writer!) and what they want. The more specific you grow in what you want to create, the quicker we wave the wand and start it happening.

Read about writing coaching here or join Rachel every Monday between 11am and 1pm for a free co-working session in The Writing Room. Links come out on this newsletter every Monday at 10am, an hour before the session starts.

There are two more places available for the Writers’ Gym Afternoon Retreat in central London on Saturday 24 August. Any questions? Email thewritersgym@rachelknightley.com

The Writers’ Gym podcast returns in Autumn. Listen to previous episodes on Apple, Spotify or any of your favourite platforms.