Mindfulness and bodyfulness
I began Saturday morning by dropping a glass head on my foot.
The head in question is one of several hat-stand-come-bookends in our hallway; I’ve gone through the movement of taking a hat off it each of them a thousand times before.
But yesterday, something was different. I picked up my fedora, and due to whatever speeding was in my mind at the time I got the angle wrong so the head beneath it landed on my foot.
I’m proud to say I did what I’ve promised myself I’d do next time this kind of situation (pain; annoyance at self and universe; hurry to be or believe myself to be not in pain) occurred: sit down. NOT carry on regardless, announcing to myself I’m fine, but stop moving (instead of moving faster), step right into my body instead of trying to hurry ahead of it and actually check. So after much toe wiggling, ice, and time, I was able to thank myself and the universe it wasn’t any worse and enjoy the ironic timing:
I’ve been really enjoying what Sharon Blackie has to say about how to live in your body as well as your mind, being ‘bodyful’ as well as mindful in The Enchanted Life. Moving fully into our bodies and listening to them first, rather than controlling them first, allows us to make the most of what they have to tell us. Growing up with dyspraxia, this really chimes with me. I’ve learnt physical coordination as a second language. From core strength to walking in heels, small everyday things have represented big victories and much physical and emotional work on what my body was capable of, what I could learn to dare to do and what I could learn to accept that, if I could, it meant a bunch of extra work no one but me would ever see.
And, of course, the less hurried or anxious any of us is, the more we’re present in my body as well as mind, and the more we see being in a good place in one — body or mind — spreads to the other.
My foot and the glass head are both fine, and the day got a lot better — mostly spent in Purezza and its basement vegan cheese and wine heaven, La Fauxmagerie. I mention this because here I had the kind of wine and cheese day I once thought I’d never see again after giving up dairy, but the world provided. Again, I get to bring the whole of myself, mind and body, to what I choose to do (Thank you Veronica for saving us from booking issue nightmares and Joey for talking us through one of my favourite difficult decisions in the world: which cheese plate to share. This really did feel like living in my own personal utopian future).
I used to think I had to choose between sides of myself, and that was never true. Any more than living in your head or living in your body is true. Authenticity is a continuum. Whether that’s about cheese and wine or the number of writing voices I discover inside myself, stepping into true bodyfulness or mindfulness always summons more of the other, and is always a step in the right direction.
Looking for some creative confidence and brain space in August? Two places left for the Writers’ Gym Afternoon Writing Retreat at Olympic Studios, Sat 24 August:
